God is in control-the begining

I can still remember the lump in my throat grow as our pediatrician returned to the room and told me he had just gotten off the phone with the neurosurgeon at the Denver Children’s Hospital.  Our sweet baby O needed an MRI to determine what was going on with the bump on his head. 

Owen and Daddy at Children's Hospital in 2009 

Owen was just a few weeks old when he was given a clean bill of health.  They had run all the tests and said my baby was fine. Cephalhematoma, like a giant bruise under his scalp; nothing to worry about but he would most likely always have a bump.  Now the lump in my throat is back, this time with seizures.

It is every parent’s worst fear.  Calling 911, because your child is not breathing.  It was not something I had on the agenda for grandma and grandpa’s visit from Texas.  Yet there I was dialing the numbers while my husband shook our limp little boy in hopes of a response.  I had no idea that lips could turn blue so fast.  The paramedics came and went, and by the time we went to bed he was a happy little boy playing his harmonica.  My husband slept in his room that night just to be sure.

I went to bed my head swirling with thoughts of what if and why.  Then I sat in the pediatrician’s office only to hear those words again…neurosurgeon at Denver Children’s Hospital and my questions came back to how.  How did we get back here again, they gave my baby a clean bill of health?

He has most likely suffered a seizure and we think it was not the first.  I have been sent home with a medicine to administer should anything else happen before we meet with the neurosurgeon again.  It is glaring at me from the white prescription bag now as I write this.

I came home tonight and found my yard freshly mowed and I broke down in tears.  My husband is out of town and someone out of the goodness of their heart mowed my grass.  That’s right, my son’s health is in question and I am crying over the grass.  So I gather up my tears and sit down to write.  A way to release what is obviously building up. 

So welcome to my blog. I pray that there is a happy ending down the road.  It is my hope that I will be able to report wonderful praises on my sweet baby’s journey but I do not know what the future holds.  I do know that as I sit here now my heart is at peace as Owen sleeps nearby.  My God is in control.  Writing this out has helped me remember that.  So I will say it again and wrap my heart tightly to what that means as we wait to see what comes next….God is in Control.